Okay...I know it's been awhile since I've written/typed. Been busy and not as inspired to write about the day to day. The summer though has been HOT and I will miss it as it comes to a close. :(
Tonight I watched "Soul Surfer" for the second time. (Watched it in the theater and now on DVD) It is more than inspirational. It's compelling to the soul. Especially when something similiar happens to YOU! (me...) I will say, I didn't "surf" and get my arm taken off, but I did DANCE and SWIM and even PLAYED baseball til I HAD to give it UP!
It was and is emotional to go through a tradegy like that or a illness that takes away an ability. (Abilities for me really.) It was 20 years ago THIS summer for me. I did things like normal kids did. Took ballet for 3 years. Wanting to be a pretty ballerina! (Dance was my LIFE!) Thought I could be a Olympic swimmer when I "grew up" too. I had great ambitions when I was young.
I guess most kids do, but because of what happened TO me, I couldn't DO what other kids or PEOPLE could anymore. (or would just have to do it a DIFFERENT way.) Like catching the ball in baseball with the other hand because the "normal" hand didn't and/or doesn't work anymore. (Muscle problem I have...) I had to totally re-learn how to do things b/c my right hand was not the domainate one anymore. OH! How I struggled physically, but also with friends. I was only 8. I had weakness in my hand but I also a limp with seizures! It that a lot? LoL!
God did give me the strength like Bethany, in the movie and verses of comfort that are the SAME! Jer. 29:11 and Phil. 4:13: "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." "I can do ALL things through Christ which strengthens Me."
Then Bethany says she doesn't want EASY, but possible. I laugh cuz God hasn't made my life THAT easy, but given me the strength to endure and open to possibilities whether I am willing to them is MY choice...Ha ha ha! (I can be stubborn...) I didn't mentioned earlier about my brace and Bethany's fake arm. I used to have to wear this plastic thing up to my knee. It limited me from a lot, but dr's and my parents said it would help me walk. I HATED it WITH a passion! All I wanted was to be set free from it, to be "normal" and have friends that knew me for me and accepted me. (That of course WAS NOT the case in Elem. school specifically!)
I guess after all the tears I cried during this movie and pain I've had in this life, I can finally say I'm glad I'm NOT ALONE with the twists and turns of God's Plan unfolding, even if it is something I or Bethany NEVER wanted. Having FAITH, PERSEREVANCE (Perspective) and Trust is what keeps me alive! (Hope too) One day, there will be no MORE pain and no tears! :o)
Good night!
~Shaina
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Living a Legacy...Sometimes without knowing it.
Last week on the first day of VBS, there was a mom who stopped by to ask which class her daughter was supposed to be in. She was in 2nd grade and I had the 4 years olds. There were enough of staff in my class that I directed them to the right class.
As all of us were walking, this woman recognized me. I was a little stunned at first. As she said where she knew me from, I laughed. It was the same job as I do now, just at a different church! I looked different too because a few years ago...I had glasses, was getting back into childcare and "back to normal" after being sick for awhile.
It was funny how observant this lady was. She even asked about my sisters! "I was like...My sisters? I told you about sisters then? LoL!" I guess they were "BIG" in my life at that time. Inspirational. Must have told some stories about them...Ha ha!
You see, I helped care for them when they were young and well, now they are grown. Off doing their own thing. I even PRAYED I'd have at least ONE sister and when I was eight, God heard me! Not just once though, but twice! When I was ten, Bekah came along and well, she was a surprise too! Hee hee!
I love my sisters and I love what I do. Sometimes though, I "work" without thinking what kind of impact/legacy I'm leaving behind. I just do what I do cuz it's fun, rewarding and what I love and only thing I've known how to do well. Make sense?
As all of us were walking, this woman recognized me. I was a little stunned at first. As she said where she knew me from, I laughed. It was the same job as I do now, just at a different church! I looked different too because a few years ago...I had glasses, was getting back into childcare and "back to normal" after being sick for awhile.
It was funny how observant this lady was. She even asked about my sisters! "I was like...My sisters? I told you about sisters then? LoL!" I guess they were "BIG" in my life at that time. Inspirational. Must have told some stories about them...Ha ha!
You see, I helped care for them when they were young and well, now they are grown. Off doing their own thing. I even PRAYED I'd have at least ONE sister and when I was eight, God heard me! Not just once though, but twice! When I was ten, Bekah came along and well, she was a surprise too! Hee hee!
I love my sisters and I love what I do. Sometimes though, I "work" without thinking what kind of impact/legacy I'm leaving behind. I just do what I do cuz it's fun, rewarding and what I love and only thing I've known how to do well. Make sense?
Saturday, June 18, 2011
How God works...
I find it so funny/ironic how God works sometimes. It's not in the "brightest" way, but in a progressive way and time with me. I can be hardheaded or just needed to "work things out." I just don't understand HIS ways and the ways of others or JUST LIFE in general. So...Like today, I felt frustrated, alone and unloved. A few EMOTIONS yes, but feelings all the same that were uncalmed. Even friends tried to take me out, talk to me and stuff which help, but still "stuff" was on my mind. (Worry about the future...) I'm good at that. LoL.
It wasn't UNTIL tonight when I was cleaning my room and FOCUSED finally WITHOUT any tears that I came across my VBS material for this COMING week! Ha ha ha! (I still haven't READ through it...) So I picked it up and not even HALF-WAY through, did God just OPEN MY EYES to WHAT I was supposed to see YESTERDAY and TODAY! It was that 1) GOD MADE ME (a certain way) 2) GOD LISTENS TO ME (even when it doesn't SEEM like it...) and 3) GOD WATCHES OVER YOU (When you feel lonely or unprotected....)
I was ASTONISHED! Because the way I felt earlier...Was that God made me different with DIFFICULTIES! God wasn't listening to my prayers and working them out and lastly, I questioned IF God or anyone else (esp. someone in the future...) really cared for me!
If that wasn't enough, I had 2 more DAYS (topics) to read up on. Ha ha! Just wait and laugh at this! 4) GOD LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT! Even IF I get mad, am sad, don't understand HE STILL LOVE ME?? REALLY? Wow...
If THAT'S NOT ENOUGH...Here's the LAST one. ;) GOD GIVES GOOD GIFTS. Whoa! It's incredible! Especially after this week of UNANSWERED PRAYER and DISCOURAGEMENT of situations with life. How refreshing it is to know God will do this! Maybe not tonight, but sometime SOON! Like one of my friends told me today, God KNOWS the DESIRES of my HEART. In HIS time He will present the gift or gifts. I just need to wait PATIENTLY! Read Ps. 139. That's where all this info. is from. AND I used to despise that chapter!) Lol
It wasn't UNTIL tonight when I was cleaning my room and FOCUSED finally WITHOUT any tears that I came across my VBS material for this COMING week! Ha ha ha! (I still haven't READ through it...) So I picked it up and not even HALF-WAY through, did God just OPEN MY EYES to WHAT I was supposed to see YESTERDAY and TODAY! It was that 1) GOD MADE ME (a certain way) 2) GOD LISTENS TO ME (even when it doesn't SEEM like it...) and 3) GOD WATCHES OVER YOU (When you feel lonely or unprotected....)
I was ASTONISHED! Because the way I felt earlier...Was that God made me different with DIFFICULTIES! God wasn't listening to my prayers and working them out and lastly, I questioned IF God or anyone else (esp. someone in the future...) really cared for me!
If that wasn't enough, I had 2 more DAYS (topics) to read up on. Ha ha! Just wait and laugh at this! 4) GOD LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT! Even IF I get mad, am sad, don't understand HE STILL LOVE ME?? REALLY? Wow...
If THAT'S NOT ENOUGH...Here's the LAST one. ;) GOD GIVES GOOD GIFTS. Whoa! It's incredible! Especially after this week of UNANSWERED PRAYER and DISCOURAGEMENT of situations with life. How refreshing it is to know God will do this! Maybe not tonight, but sometime SOON! Like one of my friends told me today, God KNOWS the DESIRES of my HEART. In HIS time He will present the gift or gifts. I just need to wait PATIENTLY! Read Ps. 139. That's where all this info. is from. AND I used to despise that chapter!) Lol
Monday, June 13, 2011
In the beginning...
Hello everybody!
This is my VERY FIRST post! I will give you ALL the details of yesterday and today. So come on along on this journey of LIFE with me and discover the wonderful thing God has in store.
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